


Car Radio

by orphan_account



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, repost from my old account
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 02:40:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10504725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Tony always hated the quiet.





	

The thing he hated more than anything was silence, not sobriety, not the Ten Rings, not HYDRA, but silence. He never could handle it. His mind was always racing, thoughts bouncing around inside his head. He needed something to slow it down, so he turned to practically everything: sex, alcohol, drugs, but none of those worked for long or very well. There was a reason that he always had music playing when he was working; there was a reason he went to and threw so many parties. He couldn't handle the silence. He couldn't handle being alone with his too fast thoughts.

(Speeding round and round in his head)

(a carousel on speed)

(he'd done speed before)

(Once)

(it didn't turn out well)

Pepper left him because he couldn't explain it to her. She appreciated the silence, and couldn't stand how he'd interrupt it.

(She was too good for him anyways)

(God, he missed her)

(It hurt)

(One more thing to think about in the quiet)

He started drinking more after she left. He started doing jobs for Fury. Helping dismantle HYDRA.

(With his music at full volume)

(Blasting from the speakers in his suit)

(Of course)

When there wasn't something to do he'd make more suits. Music playing louder than necessary.

There were more parties. More one night stands. More getting drunk.

(He needed to go to sleep some how)

(his dreams were quiet now)

(He hated it)

Less sleeping. There were bags under his eyes.

(He stopped working with SHIELD)

(He was a liability)

(He knew it)

(He quit)

More silence.

His speakers broke often now. He played his music too loud for too long. He had too. He had to shut up his mind.

(He collapsed in a meeting)

(he hadn't slept in four days)

(He had dunk two bottles of vodka)

(It didn't affect him)

He got cornered a year after Pepper left. He was in his lab.

(The lack of sleep, and the drugs, and the alcohol took their toll on him)

When the other Avengers came in he fell to the ground.

(He had a seizure)

When he came too, Steve immediately started lecturing him. Tony didn't smart off to him.

(something was wrong, they thought)

(They were right)

(After seven months of loud music.)

(loud parties)

(Loud places)

(He couldn't hear the lecture)

(His ears kept ringing)

The Avengers looked on in concern. Tony was never that quiet.

(He was now)

(The nights of crying, and sex, and parties, and screaming when he was alone)

(In his godforsaken empty house)

(They were agonizing)

(He could barely whisper)

(The doctors said that in itself was a miracle)

(He overtaxed his vocal chords and kept doing it)

(Its a miracle he still had his voice)

(That's what the doctors said.)

(When Tony got away from the hospital he cried)

"Are you alright?"

(Bruce asked him the question)

(Apparently he was back from wherever he ran off to)

(Tony didn't hear him)

(All he heard was the silence)

(He hated it.)

(He started crying)

(The chitauri left medical technology.)

(He could hear again)

(It took months)

(It was painful)

(He could hear again)

When he could hear again, Steve gave him the lecture to win all lectures.

"Yeah, yeah" his voice didn't go above a loud whisper, and even then it was cracking. "I need to take better care of myself. I get it."

Bruce pushed Steve out of the way, sensing that Steve's lecture wasn't doing anything. "Why?"

(the why spoke volumes)

(It was a promise to help)

(A promise to Tony)

(he could understand)

(Bruce knew why)

(He also had to ask)

(He had to)

(He didn't know why)

(He knew he wouldn't get an answer)

Tony just shook his head.

(That spoke volumes too)

(He didn't want to talk about it)

(He understood Bruce's promise)

(He appreciated it)

(He wouldn't talk about his feelings though)

(Bruce was okay with that)

Tony bit his lip. "I don't want to talk about it."

"That's okay."

He never could handle the silence, but at least it wasn't so quiet anymore.


End file.
